Why I’m Unable to Keep a Sketchbook
- Byron the Bee
- 1 day ago
- 2 min read
(and Why I Don’t Care)
I’ve tried. Really. I’ve bought fancy sketchbooks with buttery paper, lined up the perfect pens, and even scrolled Instagram until my thumb hurt—all in the name of “keeping a sketchbook.” And yet… somehow, nothing sticks. I'm unable to keep a sketchbook.
There’s this idea that a true artist must carry a sketchbook everywhere, filling page after page with effortless brilliance. Social media would have us believe that every sketchbook is a curated masterpiece. And of course, there are endless tutorials showing exactly how to organize a sketchbook: how to plan spreads, keep a consistent theme, use grids, color codes, lettering… you name it. I’ve watched them all. I’ve tried to follow them. And still… my sketchbooks end up messy, scattered, and nonlinear—basically a visual echo of my own brain.
But I'm unable to keep a sketchbook.Maybe it’s not just me. Maybe it’s neurodivergence. My brain doesn’t always think in straight lines. Ideas arrive in bursts, connections jump around, attention flits from one thing to another. Trying to force that into tidy, linear pages is exhausting—and often pointless.
Why can’t I keep one “properly”? A few reasons:
Perfectionism sneaks in. Blank pages are terrifying. Every sketch feels like it must be worthy of framing, and that pressure kills any impulse to start.
Life is busy. Between work, parenting, and, you know, functioning as a human, dedicated sketchbook time feels like a luxury I can’t justify.
Creativity refuses to be contained. Ideas don’t always fit neatly on paper. Sometimes they live in photos, scraps of paper, or even the margins of a grocery list.
And you know what? I don’t care.
Because here’s the truth: my creativity doesn’t need to live in a sketchbook to exist. My ideas are alive, messy, and scattered across notebooks, screens, and the floor of my studio. Sometimes inspiration hits in a quiet moment while walking my dog, or while making a zine, or while folding laundry. And that’s okay.
I’ve finally realized that sketchbooks are just one way to be creative—and not the only or “correct” one. I may never own a sketchbook filled with perfect pages, but I can make maps of my dog’s secret hiding spots that would make any cartographer jealous. I can capture fleeting ideas in photos, digital sketches, or random scraps of paper. I can create in the way that actually works for me—and my brain.
So if you’ve ever felt guilty because your sketchbook is still blank, or because your creative process doesn’t look like everyone else’s, take a deep breath. You’re not failing. You’re just doing creativity your own way—and that, my friend, is worth celebrating. Even if I'm unable to keep a sketchbook I can be creative.
Love, Micol
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